Essay to My Heart

Essay to My Heart

by

Macie Snow

 

 

Stretching my hands over my head, I look around the library. It was shockingly empty, seeing as finals were upon us. I look down at the textbook lying open in front of me. Math. It had never been my best subject, and was always my least favorite. Yet once again my brain had succumbed to its devastating power, and I had actually learned something. Unfortunately, I still needed to study.

I pull my glasses off and clean them with my shirt before putting them back on and turning back to the books and notes in front of me.

Not twenty minutes later, I notice a pair of shoes to my left. I peer up, looking over the top of my glasses, as they had slid down a bit. My heart instantly starts pounding in my chest.

“Hi,” Jordan smiles, clearing his throat and shifting his weight to the other foot. “Would you mind editing my essay for me?”

I nod, forcing a smile to my face as my throat clenches. I'd had a crush on Jordan since first laying eyes on him. And as I got to know him, from a distance of course, I only fell for him more. I was one of the few people who could tell him and his identical twin brother, Kyle, apart, and they didn’t even know me. Sadly, a relationship between us would never happen. I was a nerd, always had my head stuck in a book, or working on one project or another, and he was a star athlete.

I accept the paper he held out to me. Only one paper.

‘He’s never going to get his bachelors if his final essay is only one page long,’ a rude little voice in the back of my mind says. I force her down and start reading the essay. My heart flutters a bit as Jordan sits in the chair next to me and watches me read.

Love is an interesting thing. It will slowly grow in your heart, undetected, until one day that special person walks by and love smacks you in the face.

I glance at Jordan. He had picked an… interesting topic, considering he was a jock and all.

Your heart starts racing, your palms get sweaty, and you don’t know what hit you. Maybe your sick.

I cross out the ‘your’, and write above it ‘you’re’.

But when the feeling returns every time that person walks by, you realize what it is. Every time you rush by me , oblivious to my presence, it only makes my condition worse.

I start to correct the jump in perspective, but my eyes get ahead of me, and I read the lines further ahead.

I didn’t know it at first, but you stole my heart. You snuck in undetected and invaded my dreams. Soon you occupied my every thought, every night I would dream of you. Every time you didn’t notice me, I wept inside. Every time you look at me, another flame burns my heart.

I frown. Had he seriously asked me to edit his confession of love? For someone else? My heart pounds and tears burn at the back of my eyes, but I deny them exit. I would cry later. Alone, in my room.

 I cannot live without you in my life. And not just as a face in the crowd. I need your face to fill every waking moment, because it already fills my dreams. I love you Kaycie-

My heart stops in my chest. That… That was my name. My eyes dart up to Jordan and he smiles at me. I look back down and skim the rest of the note. It was my name. It was about me. He… Oh my god.

“So?” Jordan asks softly. “What do you think?”

I look at him as my eyes fill with tears. His eyes grow wide upon seeing them.

“You don’t really want me to edit this do you?” I ask softly.

He smiles and shakes his head no. “So?”

I look at the last line of the letter.

Would you do me the tremendous favor of going out with me?

I choke out a laugh “Of course I will!”